A lost hero A fallen friend
by KCEstel
Summary: Gandalf has fallen. How do the remaining members of the Fellowship feel after his death? COMPLETE
1. Aragorn's POV

**Disclosure; **The characters and places in this tale belong to JJR Tolkien, the true LORD OF THE RINGS master. The scene which this story is based on belongs to Peter Jackson. This story is _loosely_ based on the Movie, holding true to the basic scene but not to character actions or speech.

**A/N;** This is my first story thatI have brave enough to let other people read. Please review. Constructive criticism will be very much appreciated. Flames will be read and gifted to Saruman.

**A Lost Hero. A Fallen Friend.**

**Aragorn's POV**

I stood rooted to spot as Gandalf fell, locked in combat with a Balrog. I was dimly aware of Boromir running past me, a struggling hobbit in his arms, I blinked, the heat in the cavern beginning to make my eyes sting. Or was that the tears that were threatening to fall?

"ARAGORN!" called Boromir bringing me sharply back to reality. I registered Frodo's anguished cried of _"Gandalf!"_ and turned round.

I ducked an Orc arrow that flew towards me and began to run up the stairs as Boromir disappeared, casting a glance back at the spot where Gandalf had fallen.

The cold air of Dimrill Dale hit my face. A great contrast with the cavern behind me.

I looked around me and my heart was greatly saddened at what I witnessed. Boromir was standing with his arm around Gimli who was fighting with all his might to get back into the Mines of Moria. Sam was collapsed on the ground, his head in his hand, and his shoulders heaving with sobs. Merry and Pippin, the two youngest members of the company were huddled together, tears running down the face of the younger.

Legolas was looking completely confused. He seemed incapable of understanding what had happened to Gandalf. He was staring blankly around him hoping the _someone_ was going to explain.

Frodo was standing away from the group and I could not see his face. His shoulders were not moving so I couldn't even tell how deep his grief ran.

I moved away from the rest of the company, the tears that had been lingering in my eyes finally beginning to fall.

Choosing a spot from which I could still see everyone but I myself could not be seen, I drew my knees to my chest and began to sob. It was the one thing that I could never have been taught, even by Elrond, how to cope with death. I had seen it on many occasion and was no stranger to grief but the death of Gandalf hit me harder than any other. Part of my heart had fallen into the abyss with him.

When all my tears were dried I looked up at the sky and took in a long shaking breath, sending a silent prayer to the Valar for Gandalf's spirit, and another that they would grant me the courage and wisdom to take up the mantle that the old wizard had placed on my shoulder's and lead the company on the rest of our Quest. I stood and looked at the remainder of the company.

"Estel?" asked Legolas looking around as I approached. "What hope do we have without Mithrandir?" he asked.

I placed my hand on his shoulder; "We must do without hope," I replied and took another shaky breath.

Turning to the remaining company I said; "Come, we must make it to the Woods of Lothlòrien before nightfall."

Boromir looked up from where he had been comforting Merry and Pippin. He too had been crying, but the glare he fixed on me hid none of its meaning. If looks could kill I would have dropped on the spot.

"Let them rest! They have all had a terrible ordeal!" he shot at me. Legolas glanced between me and Boromir, looking nervous.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs!" I shot back and moved over to Sam. After helping him to his feet I gave him a reassuring smile and looked around for Frodo. The young hobbit was walking away from the group.

"Frodo!" I called. Frodo turned to face me and the look that was on his face made my heart stop. His eyes were full of confusing and brimming with unshed tears. A single tear trailed down his pale cheeks.

"Come," I said reaching his side, "Gandalf would not have you fall into despair."

Frodo continued to look miserable and he blinked. Kneeling down I wrapped my arms around him and Frodo dissolved into tears.

Did I not say; _If you pass the doors of Moria beware?_ Alas I spoke true.

**A/N**; The last line isactual text from Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring (book canon)


	2. Frodo's POV

**Frodo's POV**

I don't know what made me do it. I stood and watched Gandalf fight the Balrog and it seemed to me as though he was winning. He turned, sighed and fell.

He fell.

Nothing else filled my head and I tried to run back to where he had last stood but Boromir grabbed me around the chest, preventing me moving forward.

"Gandalf!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Maybe he had simply slipped and was already beginning to climb back up to us. I struggled in Boromir's grip.

Boromir picked me up like I was a child and began to run up the stairs out of the Mines. The Man turned and called back to Strider who was still standing where he had been five minutes before.

"Gandalf!" I yelled again, still with a hope that he would reappear. Strider turned and began to follow us up the stairs. I was still struggling in Boromir's arms.

Only when we were out on the Dimrill Dale did Boromir release me. Ignoring Sam and the rest of the company, I ran away from Moria, now wishing that I had not made the decision that we would travel through the Mines. The path over the mountains may have been cold and uncomfortable but at least Gandalf would still be alive.

I cast my eyes back over the rest of the company; at the tear stained faces and the shaking shoulders, and my decision was made.

There was no way that I was going to cause anymore harm to these people. The Ring was my burden and my task was something that I had to do myself. If I wasn't with the group then there would be no need for them to be here and in danger.

They could all go home.

I began to make my way, walking blindly, towards a nearby wood. I heard Strider say something to the company but I didn't stop or turn around until I heard him call my name. As I looked at him I felt my eyes fill with tears and a single droplet of water made its way slowly down my cheek.

Strider was at my side in what seemed like no time at all. He looked at me and in his eyes I saw the same sense of loss that I felt within my own heart. I suddenly remembered that Strider had known Gandalf longer than I had and must be feeling a greater sense of loss.

"Gandalf would not want you to fall into despair," he said. I continued to look at him and he wrapped me tight in his arms. My tears began to fall and I sobbed hard into his shoulder.

Gandalf why did you leave? You said you would help me as long as the Ring was my burden!


	3. Legolas' POV

**A/N;**I would just like to say that if anything this was the easiest part to write! The look on Orlando Bloom's face in the movie said it all.

**Legolas' POV**

I never saw Mithrandir fall, but my heart told me that a mighty spirit was leaving Arda. _Middle-Earth_. I tried to believe that is was someone else who was departing but Frodo's anguished cry of "_Gandalf_!" told me otherwise.

My heart told me to run around, to fight, but my mind told me to keep going, that there was nothing I could do.

The cold air of the Dimrill Dale hit my face and my hair whipped around my head. I glanced around me and saw every other member of the company huddled on the ground, tears running down their faces. I didn't understand what had happened. Mithrandir had been around all through my childhood and the only mortal I had major contact with was Estel.

I didn't understand death. True my mother had died but I had only been a child and I had seen other warriors had fallen in battle but I knew in my heart that I was going to see them again before the end. I felt no such conviction this time. Mithrandir was gone and Arda had lost one of her greatest protectors.

My gaze fell on the green leaves of Lothlòrien away in the distance but for once felt no joy at the sight. I could hear the trees trying to comfort me, whispering soothing words to me but I did not feel any better. It was finally beginning to sink in. Mithrandir was dead. Yet again I had been denied the chance to say farewell.

I turned back to face the door to the mines but could not think of anything.

The brushing of leather in stone made me turn round. Estel was standing behind me, his face stained with tears and his breathing ragged from his crying.

I remembered Estel as a child, the only Edain among so many elves. Whenever he was upset I would embrace him and tell him everything was going to be all right. I felt like doing so now but of course it wasn't going to be all right this time. As a child, Estel may have been consoled by such words but now he was old enough and wise enough to fully understand what had happened. He understood better than I did.

"Estel," I asked him. "What hope so we have without Mithrandir?"

He placed his hand on my shoulder as he replied; "We must do without hope."

I looked over to the woods of Lothlòrien again while Estel spoke to the rest of the company. I was brought roughly back to the Dimrill Dale by Boromir's angry reply. I stood between them not knowing what to do. I felt that the last thing the company needed was a confrontation between the two Edain.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs!" Estel shot at Boromir and moved over to Sam. Dimly I was aware of the fact that I made my way over to the Dwarf to help him up. Turning back to the door of Moria again, I blinked and a single tear ran down my face.

"Hiro hon, hidh ab 'wanath," I muttered and the wind carried my blessing to the Valar. _May he find peace after death_

Namarie hodoer. Namarie mellon brün nin. _Farewell wise one. Farewell my old friend_


	4. Boromir's POV

**Boromir's POV**

I never really understood Gandalf. I had first met him in Gondor when I was a child and unfortunately had to admit that I had drawn the same conclusion as my father – Gandalf was not to be trusted.

But now, having travelled with him for two months and watching him fight the Balrog, I found my opinion of him changing. The wizard, while his ways had been _very_ different from the ways of my people, had never put himself first and was someone I would trust with my life.

I stood beside Aragorn and watched as he fought, preventing the Balrog moving forwards, giving us a chance to run.

My hand was on the hilt of my sword and I was on steeling myself to run back to Gandalf's side, when I felt something brush past me. Looking round I saw Frodo putting my thought into action. I sprang forward and grabbed him around the chest. Me running to Gandalf's side was one thing but there was no way that this halfling was going to return to his side.

Then he fell.

I felt Frodo give way in my arms as he screamed into the darkness. I picked him up and ran out of the Mines, turning only once to call after Aragorn who had not moved.

No sooner had I deposited a still struggling Frodo on the ground than I had my arms around Gimli who was fighting tooth and nail in an attempt to re-enter the Mines. I pulled with all my might and finally I managed to turn him around.

I stared around and saw that Merry and Pippin were crumpled on the ground; the youngest one had tears streaming down his face. He had the innocence and courage that reminded me of my brother. An image stirred in my memory and my stomach reeled, sending bile into my throat.

Faramir!

Oh no! How was my little brother going to take the news that the wizard was dead? All the love he had been denied by our father, Faramir had found in Gandalf. Now he to would deprive him of love.

Stumbling over to the young halflings, I went to my knees. As I landed on the ground, I found Pippin's arms around my neck and he cried heavily into my shoulder. I wrapped one arm around him and looked at Merry. He looked as though he was fighting not to cry. Tears swimming in my eyes and running down my cheeks I opened my other arm to him. The halfling welcomed the embrace and he too cried into my shoulder. My own tears continued to fall and together we stayed and wept over the fallen wizard.

When I heard Aragorn telling everyone that they had to get up and moving, I felt a jolt of anger ram down my spine. Releasing the halflings I stood and turned violently towards the Ranger.

What did he know? He went around Middle-Earth not caring for anyone but himself, living by his sword. What did he know about the loss of a fellow warrior, a company member?

"Let them rest! They've been through and terrible ordeal!" I meant mainly Merry and Pippin who were both so young and shouldn't be mixed up in this. I didn't comprehend Aragorn's reply and stared blankly after him as he moved to Frodo's side. I turned back to Merry and Pip and after giving both another hug I helped them to their feet.

We should have taken the Gap of Rohan and the road to my City; Minas Tirith is the safer road.


	5. Merry's POV

**Merry's POV**

My first thought was to blame Pip for yet another catastrophe that he was responsible for but one look at my cousin's face told me that he was suffering enough. I did not want to increase his problems.

I had sprinted out of the Mines behind Pippin and in front of Legolas and gasped as the cold air of the Dimrill Dale hit my face and filled my lungs.

I nearly tripped over Pippin as he collapsed to the ground, tears pouring freely down his face. I sat beside him and as he buried his damp face in my shoulder, I wrapped my arms around him and felt my own eyes sting though no tears would fall.

I felt some strange compulsion not to cry for Gandalf though grief burned in my heart and tears stung my eyes. I felt that I had to be strong for Pip and that meant no tears. I could cry later.

A shadow fell across me and I felt Pippin unwrap his arms from my neck. Blinking I raised my eyes and they fell on Boromir with Pippin embraced in his arms.

Heartless though this may sound, but I was glad that Boromir was crying. It meant that I did not have to act strong. It meant I could cry as well.

Boromir looked at me through his tears opening his other arms to me and I gladly moved into his embrace. Pressing my face into his shoulder, I began to let my tears fall.

I vaguely heard Strider say something about getting to some woods before night fell and was brought sharply to my senses as Boromir let go of me and swung round. I suppressed the yelp that threatened to escape as my source of comfort disappeared and quickly made to grasp Pippin's hand as he swayed.

"Let them rest!" Boromir begged Strider and I felt grateful for his words. Strider however was having none of it and insisted that we all move off. My heavy heart seemed to sink into my stomach as I heard Strider speak.

Boromir turned dejectedly back to face me and he wrapped me in his arms again. I felt like a child once as I knelt in his arms and all I wanted to do was stay where I was and not have to think about yesterday or tomorrow. All too soon Boromir released me and pulled me to my feet.

I blinked away my tears and looked over to the Woods that lay in front of us. Strider was right, we had to go on.

I will not forget you Gandalf, may we meet again some day.


	6. Pippin's POV

**Pippin's POV**

I knew he was gone. There was nothing else that would cause Frodo to scream in such a way.

"This is your fault!" a voice screamed in my head. It wouldn't have made much difference if Strider had shouted it at me. And I wished he would.

Guilt lay heavily on my heart. It _was_ my fault. If _I_ hadn't played with the skeleton in the chamber, if _I_ hadn't caused it to fall down the well and caused the Orcs to re-surface. If _I_ hadn't caused the Balrog to appear then Gandalf would still be alive.

I ran blindly out of the Mines and out on to the rocky plain at its exit. I collapsed as tears streamed down my face. Merry sat down beside me and pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

My mind floated back to the Shire. A Shire where Gandalf would always live. I remembered the last occasion he had been there had been Bilbo's party. Merry and me had stolen the biggest firework he had in his cart. We had lit it, it went off, providing some entertainment for the rest of the hobbits, and Gandalf had caught us.

Whenever Gandalf was in the Shire and I was up to mischief, he had always caught me. He would give a lecture, which I could probably recite if I put my mind to it, but he never got angry. His voice would be stern but his eyes sparked with hidden amusement.

And now he was gone and it was my fault.

Boromir knelt on the ground in front of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped an arm around me and I continued to cry into his shoulder. I felt moisture on my neck and I realised that Boromir was crying as well.

I didn't know how long I was in Boromir's embrace but I did know that is wasn't long enough. I looked, bleary eyed up at Strider and Legolas as Boromir let me go. His tear strained face only made me fell even guiltier.

I heeded little of what passed between the two Men but Strider seemed anxious and Boromir seemed angry. Part of me wished that they would get angry with me, I had caused the grief. Maybe I should have listened to Lord Elrond and stayed in Rivendell with Bilbo. If I had would Gandalf still be alive?

Boromir wrapped me in his arms again and I screwed my eye up against the fresh wave of tears that were threatening to fall.

I'm sorry Gandalf. Can you forgive me one last time?

**A/N; **It could be a while before the next (and final) post goes up because I am having serious trouble writing Sam. If anyone has any suggestions I would be very grateful. Thanks.

_KC_


	7. Gimli's POV

**Gimli's POV**

For some reason I felt indebted to Gandalf. He was responsible for more-or-less keeping my father safe when he was on the quest to regain our treasure from that blasted dragon Smaug. I also was fairly confident that it was the wizard's presence that had prevented my dislike for the Elf of our company from spilling over to anything more than a few insults, mainly on the Elf's part of course.

The emotional ride that I had just been on was not something I wished to repeat any time soon.

I had been pleased when it was decided that the company would go through Moria (I do _not_ like snow!) I was proud that I could show off some of my culture. I was then distressed to find Moria abandoned and Balin dead, angry that Orcs still dwelt in Moria. Pleasure had coursed through me as I swung my axe at every available Orc.

I then felt terror as the Balrog appeared and as I watched Gandalf stand and fight. I was relieved when it had fallen and then an emotion that I did not want to feel again but one that was going to become more frequent.

Grief.

I stood on Dimrill Dale fighting with everything I had to return to Moria but Boromir would not let me go. I didn't even know what I was fighting to get back to.

Eventually the Man had turned me round and let me go. I sank to my knees and began to mutter blessings for the dead under me breath. I felt my eyes begin to sting and I blinked. Tears began to slow down my cheeks and mingled with my beard.

The soft voice of the Elf broke into my thoughts and I felt a rush of anger. Why did he not sound more upset? Did he not realise that Gandalf would never return?

Then I felt sorry for him. While he was nearly three thousand years old the one thing he would probably never understand was death.

I continued to watch as Boromir stood up. He looked nothing short of murderous.

"Let them rest!" he shot at Aragorn. Subconsciously I felt my hand wrap around the handle of my axe and I readied myself to interrupt a fight if necessary. Was having these two in the company together a good idea? Contention had bred between them since Elrond's council.

When Aragorn turned away I realised that Legolas was standing beside me, still looking confused and lost. I took hold of the hand he offered to me.

He searched my face as though looking for some explanation. Obviously finding none, he turned back to the Doors of Moria.

Gandalf what are we to do without you? Didn't you realise you are the stitching that held us together?


	8. Sam's POV

**_A/N;_**

---- This is the last chapter for this story "sob". Who would have thought somuch could come thirty seconds worth of film. Oh well. Enjoy...

* * *

**Sam's POV**

He's gone. Mr. Gandalf's dead. Boromir was holding tightly on to Mr. Frodo but I don't think he was even thinking about the Ring. But then I did the most cowardly thing I could have – I ran. I turned and ran from the cave.

As soon as I got outside my legs gave up. I couldn't breathe, grief building up inside me. Tears washed down my face, and I held my head in my hands.

I could hear the Dwarf shouting something about getting back to the Mines. There was no way that I was going back there. Behind me Merry and Pippin were crying but I couldn't feel any sympathy for Pippin, it was his fault in the first place.

My thoughts turned to Mr. Frodo. Gandalf had promised to help Frodo as long as he had the Ring. I, in turn had promised that I would protect Mr. Frodo. How was Gandalf supposed to help if he was dead?

"On your feet, Sam!" said Strider suddenly pulling me out of my thoughts. He took hold of my jacket and pulled me to my feet. He patted my shoulder before turning around again.

"Frodo?" called Strider. I looked up sharply. Where was Mr. Frodo?

"Frodo!" called Strider again. Then I saw him.

He was standing away from the group. A single tear fell down his cheek as he looked back at us. I felt my heart tighten as I looked at him. He looked so lost, so sad.

Strider made his way over to him and I followed. The Man embraced Mr. Frodo and he began to cry, his weakened body shaking in Strider's arms.

Watching my master I felt a new resolve form in my heart. Gandalf may have fallen but I was still here. I had sworn that I would not lose him and I didn't mean to.

Gandalf may have gone but I would make sure his dearth was worth it. Frodo _will_ finish his task.

"I promise," I whispered aloud, the wind blowing away the words.

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_OK, that probably sucked big time. Gimli and Sam are the hardest characters to write. I would be quite willing to change things so if you have any suggestions, feel free to make them._

_Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Hope Santa's good to ya_ :)

KC


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